Top 10 Shittiest Movies of the Last Decade

RUNNER UPS:
Meet The Spartans
Disaster Movie

                                             

10. White Chicks

Shawn Wayans and Marlon Wayans were the ugliest white chicks of all time. I swear I've seen prettier transsexuals than them. In fact, the movie won a Golden Raspberry Award for "unconvincing prosthetics". 

9. The Happening 

Director M. Knight Shyamalan is best known for his fantastic and creepy movies The Sixth Sense and The Village. Those movies were so great that nobody could have thought that he was capable of making a movie as shitty as The Happening. This flick marked the end of Knight's era of making kickass horror movies and paved the way for The Last Airbender which was definitely one of the shittiest movies of the decade. Despite being a mediocre movie with forced and flat performances by otherwise great actors this movie has some creepy mass suicide scenes in the beginning. They are so creepy in fact that one might brace themselves for a piss-in-your pants type of experience only to be disappointed 20 minutes in

8. Epic Movie

Despite being terrible, this movie is epic by all means. It parodies some of the most popular movies in Hollywood (at the time) including The Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, Super-man, X-Men, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Borat, Nacho Libre, 300, Snakes on a Plane, Pirates of the Caribbean and many others. Its super awesome fun for the entire family...except its not. Its vulgur, stupid and has some of the worst dialogue in the history of Hollywood. Just because this movie isn't intended to be taken seriously doesn't mean it has to be THIS shitty. 

7. Transformers: The Revenge of The Fallen

Transformers was epic. Full of action and awkward humour and not to mention transformers actually TRANSFORMING (glourious slow-mo transforming AWYEAH). And even though the dialogue and the plot still sucked it was quite satisfactory and a lot of people were excited for Transformers part 2. Michael Bay AKA The Antichrist decided to extend Transformers' popularity around the world by making it more appealing to everyone from 5 year olds to pre-puberscent girls to old people in wheel chairs and all ethnic groups. This movie is cheesier, cornier and dumber than any sci-fi action movie ever made. Heck Transformers 2 even introduced us to a couple of redneck/gansta twin retards (yeah nobody actually what they're supposed to be because they have some kind of retarded hybrid accent that mimics rednecks and black people from ghettos) and not to mention huge transformer balls. The dialogue and acting is unforgivably worse in this one and Shia LaBeuf (or whatever the fuck his name is) looks like a dyslexic, obnoxious moron with ADHD. This movie also depicts ignorant Americans' typical idea of marijuana as a terrible drug made by Satan himself to make decent American people stupid and dangerous (Sam's mom's space cake incident). The WORST  and most terrible aspect of this movie is the over-objectification of Megan Fox's body and her abhorrent dialogue. The main characters absolutely lack chemistry and the plot is worse than a Betty and Veronica comic book. You need an IQ of less than 90 to enjoy this movie for its "aesthetic" value but don't feel guilty if you liked the action.

6. Batman and Robin

Words cannot express how shitty this movie is. Its not dark or brooding as a proper Batman movie is supposed to be. This is basically a cartoon adaptation played by live actors. Its been listed as one of the worst movies of all time. I was probably 5 or 6 when I first saw this and even the 6 year old me thought this sucked. This movie almost killed the Batman franchise in the 90's (which was pretty much left to ruin until Batman Begins revived it) Did I mention that this movie introduced batsuits with nipples on them? YES NIPPLES. BATNIPPLES. YOU HEARD ME. This movie has the worst comic book villains of all time Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who played Mr. Freeze, was apparently paid $25 million to play the worst movie role in his career (and he can't even act!) and George Clooney (Batman) was so spectacularly terrible for the role that his portrayal of Batman is often considered the worst in history (Christian Bale must be pleased). The only good thing about this movie is that Robin doesn't wear a thong and Batgirl is pretty hot. 

5. Little Nicky

Adam Sandler pretty much plays a retarded son of Satan who's infatuated with Rock N' Roll and getting out of hell and living his own life. He has 2 brothers; Adrian (the devious), Cassius (the cruelest). They are total assholes who bully him and says his mom is a goat (which is probably true) There's only one problem, Nicky is Daddy's favorite and he won't let him leave hell to be independent and live his life because, lets face it, he's a moron. When Satan refuses to give the throne to either of his sons they start to rebel and block the entrance to Hell stopping souls from entering into the underworld

thus making Satan weak so sends Nicky to pretty much kick their asses and save Hell. Despite having a pretty awesome cast and a cool theme this movie has some of the worst, flat jokes in the history of comedy. Not to mention an annoying talking dog with a black accent. The truth is Nicky is just plain dumb and shouldn't be watched by anyone with a higher IQ than 10, yes 10. 

4. Speed Racer

Oh yes, we're coming close to the end.We all enjoyed Speed Racer as kids. It was one of the best Japanese cartoons of all time. But what happened? I'll tell you. The Wachowski brothers were looking for a big break and they RUINED it. Watching Speed Racer was an excruciating experience. Imagine being on LSD while having your testicles continuously kicked by a rabid chimpanzee and multiply that infinity and there you have it. One of the best cartoons of all time ruined by corporate greed. Emile Hirsch did a good job playing Speed but the other actors were all terrible especially the little brat that plays his little brother. I usually like children but if I was Emile I'd kick him AND his chimp in the face with spiked shoes until the screenwriter writes them out of the script. Seriously though, the kid was one of the main reasons the movie failed. Joe Morganstern of the Wall Streen Journal had this to say:

"Toxic admixture of computer-generated frenzy and live-action torpor succeeds in being, almost simultaneously, genuinely painful — the esthetic equivalent of needles in eyeballs" I agree with him. This movie has no soul. 

3. Twilight 

Ah, you expected it. You knew it would make it to this list and it did. Definitely one of the worst movies of all time. Lets start with the book. Stephanie Meyer wrote Twilight after having a wet dream about copulating with a vampire. This sexually frustrated young Mormon decided to turn this "experience" into literary fiction eventually turning millions of young women into mindless bimbos. Why did they buy the books? Fuck if I know, women has always been infatuated with the idea of undead sexual liaisons with Carpathain monsters. If they knew how terrifying the actual Dracula, Vlad the Impaler, was they'd have nightmares instead of wet dreams. But Alas, Twilight vampires are a shittier, emo version of Gram Stoker's charming Dracula. I should also point out that vampires can't get erections since it requires BLOOD which vampires don't have since they're technically DEAD. 

So, about the movie. Yes, its terrible. We all know it but it was marketed to young women who aren't too bright. 

This movie pretty much revolutionized the world of bimbos (women with below-average intelligence) and glorified unprotected sex with pedophiles. 

Yes, Eddy Cullen is technically a pedophile since he's over a century old. 

Bella Swan might be the most boring and uninteresting female character since Caroline Bingley and Edward is basically an inarticulate, monotonous, whiny ignoramus.

This movie is just downright insignificant. They even made the wolfboy look gay from the second installment.

2. Battlefield Earth

L. Ron Hubbard is the creator of Scientology, a shitty American "religion" that preach absurd teachings about aliens and intergalactic Boeing 747's. Apart from being a fake messiah he was known back in the day as a quite accomplished science fiction writer and Battlefield Earth was one of his greatest works. It was all good until some retards decided to adapt it to to the silver screen using none other than notorious Scientologist John Travolta. Everyone knows ol' Johnny can't act but they cast him anyway. It was an utter disaster for 3 reasons; Corey Mandell's terrible screenplay (some people say he wrote it after just reading the children's version of Battlefield Earth because he's a tard), Johnny's shitty acting as an intergalactic spacelord and TERRIBLE production design. These aliens were pretty lame and their technology made Cold War era radio transmitters look like state of the art supercomputers. Seriously, watch and see how terrible this movie is. 

1. The Room

Ah, yes. We've come to it at last. The world movie of the last decade, nay, century. 

Dubbed "the Citizen Kane of bad movies" by Entertainment Weekly. The Room has some of the worst movie dialogues of all time. Tommy Wiseau is perhaps the worst actor in the history of humankind with his monotonous outbursts and casual wooing (not to mention his weird European accent). Despite being a shitty movie with even shitter dialogue The Room is actually quite entertaining because it takes itself so seriously and has some excruciatingly long sex scenes with the cheesiest music imaginable. These sex scenes are so frequent and long that this movie could pass off for a low budget soft-core flick. The story is basically about this "nice" (but retarded) guy Johnny that's dating this totally nympho whore called Lisa that wants to dump Johnny and sleep with his best friend Mark. Despite this Lisa and Johnny STILL has sex like 50 times in the movie. Johnny has an adopted little brother called Denny that's kind of a pervert who asks Johnny and Lisa if he can "watch" them. One of the subplots include Denny getting beaten up by a drug dealer and Mark and Johnny coming to his rescue, the plot line is immediately abandoned afterwards. Lisa's mother mentions that she "got the tests back and definitely has cancer" this subplot, too, is quickly abandoned and never mentioned again. Another hilarious scene includes the guys playing football in tuxedos for 10 seconds, this scene has absolutely no purpose in the script. Speaking of the script, The Room has the worst plot of all time. In fact there are so many narrative flaws that makes a typical SpongeBob episode look like a Shakespearean masterpiece. Most of the dialogue was written on set according to Wiseau's mood. In fact, he was so busy "acting" that the script supervisor ended up directing some parts of the film. In the end Johnny realizes he's a retard and blows his brains out. Srsly.