USSR: Why Joseph Stalin Was Awesome

Death toll during reign: 60 million Slavonic pagans, elves and abominable snowman.

                Joseph Stalin was the ultimate sociopathic badass of the 20^th century. He is perhaps known as the greatest sadistic troll to ever come out of Russia, the land of many great trolls. Apart from being the “most evil man in history” (American propaganda hurrdurr) Stalin can be considered one of the greatest men to ever walk the planet. Why? Because he didn’t take shit from the West, a feat not many leaders have achieved. But that’s not the main reason. Stalin’s Soviet Union was one of the two major global superpowers of the 20^th century. The mere existence of the Soviet Union challenged the ludicrous assumption that only Capitalism can bring a country into the global power play. Stalin imposed his Socialist ideals, passed on by the great Lenin himself, unto neighboring states and thus created his awesome empire. What really makes Stalin awesome is the fact that his regime is responsible for some of the 20^th century’s greatest technological advances and inventions.

Memes originated in USSR.

What are these so called technological advances and inventions, you might ask. Lets see; human spaceflight (sent the first man into space), underwater welding, satellites, rocket boots (srsly), unmanned spacecrafts, military robots,  assault rifle/underwater assault rifle, Ak-47, pressure suits, nuclear power plants, space stations, plasma propulsion engine, intercontinental ballistic missiles, ternary computers, 3D holography, tetris (fuck yeah) and a shitload of other military and space innovations. Its safe to say that Soviet Russia was the pioneer of space exploration until America trolled the world with the fake moon landing footage (there’s no air on moon, the flag waved, piss off)

Stalin was also a military genius who didn’t give a crap about how many troops died just as long as it got the job done. He’s responsible for the death of 20 million Red Army troops in the second World War. So what? He got the thing done. Soviet military involvement in WWII was crucial for the Allied victory. We would all be speaking German if not for Stalin (not that its a bad thing, German is pretty awesome). After his wife died, Stally stopped giving a shit about morals. JS was the master of famine, this guy basically recreated the Black Death in eastern Europe and wiped out millions of Ukrainians for lulz. In total Joseph is responsible for over 60 million deaths during his reign and puts Adolph Hitler, the Aryan supertroll, to shame (6 million Jews is nothing compared to 60 million Russians, too bad nobody in America cares about Russians because they like to get on the Jew loving/hating bandwagon).

In conclusion; Stalin’s mustache is much more awesome than Hitler’s tiny shit stain.